i hate hospitals
cause even if you're not sick
you feel it
you can hear everyone coughing
and sniffling
and you can see blood
and trembling fingers
and you feel like
you outta be sick

life's interesting now
everyone seems to be getting along
with bumps along he way
nothings ever smooth
with the mac pack
(with the drama i mean)

new people,
new gossip,
new things to do.
its all just so much
but not really
its just the "glory" of being
a teenager

i have more freedom now
rideau at night a lot more
loose plans
and i never really ask my mom
to do things
as much as i tell her
what my plans are
for the weekend

i like it now
but my body's taking the toll
i haven't slept well in a while
and i've been letting my nutrition go
a little bit
and ive let emotions get to me
and ive cried a lot

yesterday i went to my grandmas thinking that maybe she had put a small speed bump in her drinking but no, i could hear the alcohol in her voice, and see it in the way she walked, she wasn't my omi anymore as much as she was a complete stranger. she made me cry because she wasn't there to be my omi for the night, i wanted to be the kid for the night not the adult telling my grandmother not to drink. I wanted the freedom to be told what to do instead of spend my night crying and trying to get her to sober up. i couldnt do it so i went to my step dads (my moms ex-boyfriend who is the father figure in my life) and then my mom left a message on my grandmas answering machine telling her that she had made her daughter cry for the last time. my mom tends to overreasct a lot and she just cant deal with me being hurt in the slightest especially by someone who knew that she was taking care of me for the night.